coolgamesincfandomcom-20200214-history
Episode 028: THUDDS
This week's episode opens with about 7 minutes of Griffin electrocuting himself, but once that's done, we hop right into the thick of it with a haunted Casino Kid cartridge, a cooking game with delivery, and the social media reboot WarioWare needed. __TOC__ Introduction Griffin repeatedly electrocutes himself with a shock pack which he is using to combat back pain. He complains that using a medical technique usually reserved for the elderly is causing him to be unable to use text messages and to agree with what Clint Eastwood is saying. Nick asked Jeeves about the previous week's video game 'Homestuck', only to be redirected to a Wikipedia page which he described as having all the wrong information. Griffin claimed that the information was accurate, but that none of that information had been released publicly, crediting the leaking of the information to 'A Julian Fucking Assange'. Citing the fact that there are only two people working at CoolGames Inc, Nick accused Griffin of leaking the information, before laying the blame on Bill Gates' father, due to Microsoft's ownership of Skype. Griffin found amusement in the fact that the person who created 'Windows' has the surname 'Gates'. This Week's Game THUDDS is a lovingly made remake of a classic PC shareware shooter that never existed, but with lazily made multiplayer farmed out to third party developer, Digital Extremes. Strangely enough, it is also a system which allows players to create and share 6-second minigames over social network platforms (essentially Warioware DIY but without the licence and better internet functionality). The game allows the player to play an endless stream of Warioware-style games streamed via the Internet. It contains a revolutionary dick detector, which is able to block any appearance of genitalia. In the event that a penis is detected, a digital Reggie Fils-Aime appears on-screen to yell at the player, potentially explaining 'the Birds and the Bees' to the player. Unlike in the original, the sex scenes are no longer hidden, instead being clearly waypointed on the minimap (although this content would be locked behind booster packs). The enemies in the game are all named after books of the Bible, but changed to be cooler, such as Duderotomy, The Efuzions, T-Rexodus and Kevelations. Rather than killing the enemies, the player collects them, a la Bart's Nightmare. The game features the original game's classic 4-bit soundtrack, unchanged from the original PC release. Other Ideas Discussed This Copy of Casino Kid For The NES I Found At A Thrift Store Once Based on an image set of the NES game Casino Kid which had been embellished with crudely-drawn satanic imagery, and upon which the words 'Death is but a door, time is a window, I'll be back' had been scrawled. Griffin and Nick did not come up with a game, but instead advised the sender never to play the cartridge, as it was a creepypasta waiting to happen. A Cooking Game Where You Can Pay Extra To Have The Dish You Made Ingame Delivered To You Soft-launched in San Francisco, New York and later Austin, this would be a cooking game in the style of Job Simulator where the meals you create in-game would be delivered to your door. The delivery person would be given the details of what you had cooked so that you may experience their confusion or revulsion at your bizarre creations. The foodstuffs would be categorised as being 'for display only' in order to legally protect Coolgames Inc in the event that a player manages to create something truly harmful. Fighting Game Where The Only Two Characters Are Steve Urkel and Stefan, Urkel's Alternate Self An extremely limited fighting game in the vein of Divekick, in which only two fighters are available to play. A third fighter named 'Stefen', a composite between the two, is available as an extremely rare drop from booster packs. Hey Lets Put That In A Particle Accelerator A game in the vein of 'Little Inferno' which the player is given access to a particle accelerator, and various items to throw into it to see what happens. Persona 6, But In The High School From Saved By The Bell A JRPG in which the player plays as the cast of 90s kids' sitcom Saved By The Bell. Griffin attempted to draw similarities between Saved By The Bell and Persona 6 whilst Nick admitted to knowing absolutely nothing about the TV show. 99 My Teeth Chosen from a selection of eccentric-looking mall photos, this item was never discussed as a game as Nick and Griffin could not agree on what sexual position 99-ing would represent. Normal Guy Fieri Game based in an alternate universe in which Guy Fieri had a normal life with a normal job, but keeps seeing unsettling glimpses of a reality in which he became the most important chef in human history. Shin Megaman Tensei A Megaman game in which all of the robot masters are demons. A Game About Building PCs In VR, But The PC Is Made Of Play-Doh And Your Hands Are Switched A VR game in which you assemble a computer. Each time you assemble a computer, the game is replayed, but on the computer that you last built, resulting in a gradual degradation of play quality each iteration. Man Climbs Giant Tree In Seattle, Refuses To Get Down, Throws Apples At Police Officers Basically just Donkey Kong. Have You Guys Ever Tried Just Not Putting A Game In The Box And Seeing If That Works? All Profit, Baby! $$$ Initially pitched as a game box so embarrassing that people will be too embarrassed to contact customer support over or return, Nick and Griffin realised that there's literally nothing left that the internet collectively stigmatises enough to prevent those actions. Trivia * This is the first episode where the main game consists of two independent submissions combined together. * According to Episode 29: InduStreet Boys, this episode originally clocked in at about 1:26:00 before Griffin cut out thirty minutes of complaining about No Man's Sky. * Griffin's brother, Justin, once bought a copy of Mario Paint with the words "C My Video" scratched into the cartridge at a garage sale. The video in question turned out to be an animation of a butt spraying diarrhea. Category:Episodes Category:Episodes without Guests